>>Decode

Long time no see right? Well, I was thinking about writing but never got myself to write because I haven't really gotten that much to say. I should've studied for my german test but I'm too lazy for it. I can talk about nonsense for an hour or so believe me, but I'm just getting apprehensive because I'm forgetting stuff. I'm thinking of calling people, chatting or even get the work application out, turns out at the end of the day I can't remember a thing I did. It's an annoying feeling. So then I surpress that feeling and brings up a smile, as fake as one can be or sometimes just let it fade. I was really glad however that my bestfriend got a visit from her boyfriend, only turnpoint making me a little irritated was that she wanted me and my boyfriend to come to lunch with them and we're both broke. I know that she wants me to hang with her boyfriend, hell I don't blame her at all. But when his only there for two days I'm keeping away.

She needs all the time she has with him and for me it soothes me because maybe then she will stop commenting about what I do with mine. Annoying? Perhaps, I don't know, I just don't like being told off to get a room if I cuddle or kiss with him. It's one of those two things that makes me relax in any presence and to be honest, right now he is the milestone that keeps me standing. It's not like I hate my bestfriends dear god no, it's just something about him that makes me relax. When I lay my ear on his chest I can hear his heart beating and it occurs to me that he is real and with me. After hearing them I can fall asleep in his arms, I'm not joking because my body just relaxes. I really love that feeling and I want it forever. Not the one when I get annoyed or hurt when he tries to be funny but ends up saying the wrong word.

It's not easy being a guy but not a girl either right? And truth be told I'm just glad that he still is here with me. I'm also anxious whether or not my bestfriend that goes on another school has gotten mad at me. I forgot to call her and I promised and after that I haven't because I'm scared that she is still mad. Bad choice maybe but I don't want her to not take my call or not call back. Maybe a chance I have to take yes, but I still don't want it. But in case she reads the blog I want to tell you dear I only forget to do stuff, I do not forget you as a person. God, I love you so much! And now I'm too bored and busy reading to write anymore. I really love all my friends, I'm not complaining, just stating what I think at one point. I can't wait for tomorrow to hear my boyfriends voice, feel his lips and hear his heart!

<3 Mally